Why did the technician's A-scan look like a lawn?
Show the Punchline
She kept raising the gain.
Riddles
Questions with answers worth the wait. 250 jokes.
Why did the straight beam probe turn down the weld job?
Show the Punchline
It was told to come in at an angle.
What do the dead zone and Monday morning have in common?
Show the Punchline
You can't see anything during either one.
Why do Time-of-Flight Diffraction technicians love gossip?
Show the Punchline
They live for the tip signals.
Why did the phased array win the debate?
Show the Punchline
It could steer the argument and focus on every point.
Why did the thickness gauge never get a raise?
Show the Punchline
Its manager said it was already at minimum wall.
Why did the couplant bottle get nervous at the job site?
Show the Punchline
It knew it was about to get squeezed.
Why did the second back wall echo feel like a bad sequel?
Show the Punchline
Same story, twice the travel, half the energy.
Why did the receiver ask the pulser for some space?
Show the Punchline
Every time the pulser fired, the receiver needed a moment to recover.
Why did the delay line get promoted?
Show the Punchline
It was the only one willing to wait around for the signal to come back.
Why do managers love the C-scan?
Show the Punchline
It comes in color and fits on one page.
Why is steel plate such a good listener?
Show the Punchline
It echoes everything you send it, right back from the back wall.
What is a tilted crack's favorite probe?
Show the Punchline
Whichever one hits it at ninety degrees.
Why did the technician bring a bucket of water to the job?
Show the Punchline
For immersion therapy.
Why do ultrasonic probes make bad secret keepers?
Show the Punchline
Everything they hear gets echoed back.
Why was the damping material so well loved?
Show the Punchline
It always knew how to end a ringing conversation.
How do you know a transducer is in love?
Show the Punchline
It can't stop resonating.
Why do eddy current technicians love heat exchangers?
Show the Punchline
Hundreds of tubes, one setup, and a support plate to blame.
Why did the crack escape the eddy current probe?
Show the Punchline
It was lined up with the current and never got in its way.
What did the stainless steel tube say about its pit?
Show the Punchline
It's not a defect, just a discontinuity with character.
Why did the technician lower the frequency?
Show the Punchline
She needed more depth.
Why did the impedance plane never get lonely?
Show the Punchline
Everyone who visited left a point.
Why was the eddy current technician so relaxed at the end of the shift?
Show the Punchline
She had finally found her null.
What does an eddy current technician say about a tube missing a chunk of wall?
Show the Punchline
'Well, that's one way to get a signal.'
What did the probe say after pulling through 800 tubes?
Show the Punchline
I'm all coiled out.
When is lift-off the right answer?
Show the Punchline
When the job is measuring coating thickness.
Why do eddy currents make poor mountain climbers?
Show the Punchline
They give up long before the deep part.
What did the steel say to the air?
Show the Punchline
We have nothing in common. Every word I send you comes right back.
Why did the beam bend as it entered the slower material?
Show the Punchline
It was looking for a better angle on the situation.
Why does low-frequency sound go the distance?
Show the Punchline
It doesn't sweat the small stuff, and it can't see it anyway.
How long does an Iridium-192 source take to drop to a quarter of its strength?
Show the Punchline
Two half-lives, about five months, or one project approval.
Why did the magnet win every argument?
Show the Punchline
It had a strong field and kept pulling everyone to its side.
Why do the front-row students get the most attention from the lecturer?
Show the Punchline
Inverse square law.
What did the shear wave say to the longitudinal wave?
Show the Punchline
Stop pushing me. I'd rather move sideways.
Why does sound travel faster in steel than in air?
Show the Punchline
The neighbors are packed so tightly they can't help passing it on.
Why did the beam quit in the coarse-grained casting?
Show the Punchline
Too many boundaries and nobody listening.
Why did the radiographer send the film back to the supplier?
Show the Punchline
It had too many artifacts and not enough image.
What did the film say when someone opened the darkroom door?
Show the Punchline
Well, now I'm all fogged up about it.
How does a radiographer end an argument?
Show the Punchline
By increasing the distance.
Why did the Iridium-192 source refuse to make long-term plans?
Show the Punchline
Its commitments were cut in half every 74 days.
Why would you never play cards against a sheet of film?
Show the Punchline
It holds a latent image, and it shows its hand the minute it's developed.
Go easy on me. I'm not as solid as I look.
Why did the film cassette get promoted?
Show the Punchline
It had excellent screen presence.
Why did the darkroom retire early?
Show the Punchline
It saw the writing on the wall: everything was going digital.
How many radiographers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Show the Punchline
None. The darkroom only has a safelight, and they like it that way.
Why did the radiographer think the film was haunted?
Show the Punchline
A pale B showed up on it. It was just backscatter saying boo.
What does a pipeline crawler say when its radiograph is rejected?
Show the Punchline
Don't blame me. I only shoot from the inside.
Why do dosimeters make great friends?
Show the Punchline
They keep a record of everything you've absorbed.
What's the radiographer's version of 'the check is in the mail'?
Show the Punchline
The film is still processing.
Why was the fast film so rough around the edges?
Show the Punchline
Grain is the price of speed.
Why did the yoke produce such a weak field in the part?
Show the Punchline
Its legs were barely touching the surface.
What do you call a part that can't let go of the past?
Show the Punchline
Retentive, as in retentivity.
Why did the fluorescent particles refuse to work in daylight?
Show the Punchline
They only perform for a black light audience.
Why does Magnetic Particle Testing prefer a crack across the field?
Show the Punchline
A parallel crack never interrupts the conversation.
How do you say goodbye to a magnetic field?
Show the Punchline
Slowly, and without looking back.
Why do Magnetic Particle inspectors make terrible secret agents?
Show the Punchline
Everything they hide glows under UV-A.
How many Magnetic Particle inspectors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Show the Punchline
None. They're still adapting to the dark.
What did the inspector say to the steel bar that kept picking up paper clips?
Show the Punchline
Looks like you need to be demagnetized.
What did the bath say to the particles that were settling out?
Show the Punchline
I need you in suspension, not settled.
Why do prods need firm contact before the current comes on?
Show the Punchline
Nobody wants a relationship that starts with sparks and ends in a burn mark.
What did the crack say when the particles piled up on it?
Show the Punchline
Can I get a little privacy?
What did the penetrant say to the impatient inspector?
Show the Punchline
Good things take dwell time.
What did the developer say to the penetrant?
Show the Punchline
Come on out. I saved you a spot.
What do you call a part that was washed too hard after the penetrant?
Show the Punchline
Clean, confident, and completely missing the point.
What does a penetrant inspector do during dwell time?
Show the Punchline
Pretends to be calm while everyone asks if it's ready yet.
What does fluorescent penetrant say to a skeptical inspector?
Show the Punchline
Turn off the lights and I'll show you.
How do you tell a crack from a fingerprint on a penetrant part?
Show the Punchline
The fingerprint comes with a swirl and an apology.
Why did the inspector send the part back through pre-cleaning?
Show the Punchline
The penetrant couldn't get past the grease at the door.
Why did the black light get invited to every inspection party?
Show the Punchline
It brings out the best in everything, and the worst in lint.
Why did the inspector wear gloves during penetrant inspection?
Show the Punchline
Because fingerprints are the most reliable nonrelevant indication.
Why did the crack stay hidden?
Show the Punchline
Someone closed its door with a grit blast.
Why do cracks lose at hide-and-seek in Penetrant Testing?
Show the Punchline
The developer always tells on them.
Why did the inspector bring a mirror to the pipe rack?
Show the Punchline
She wanted to see the other side of the issue.
What kind of music does a Visual Testing inspector like best?
Show the Punchline
Light rock.
Why was the fillet gauge so confident?
Show the Punchline
It knew its legs were the right size.
How many inspectors does it take to check a weld in a dark tank?
Show the Punchline
Three: one to hold the light, one to hold the mirror, and one to say it looked better last time.
Why does a borescope make a terrible secret keeper?
Show the Punchline
It always shows the inside story.
What's the difference between "looks fine" and "is fine"?
Show the Punchline
About twelve inches and a flashlight.
What's an inspector's favorite kind of lighting?
Show the Punchline
Raking light, because every flaw casts a shadow of doubt.
What do you call an inspector who is happy with the lighting?
Show the Punchline
Retired.
Why do inspectors carry a small mirror and a magnet?
Show the Punchline
One finds the corners. The other finds out what they're made of.
What's a crawler camera's biggest fear?
Show the Punchline
Getting stuck in a pipe with a supervisor on the other end of the cable.
What's a leak tester's favorite kind of music?
Show the Punchline
Drip-hop.
What did the thermal camera say to the overheated motor bearing?
Show the Punchline
"I see you're having trouble keeping your cool."
What did the Acoustic Emission sensor tell the pressure vessel during the hold?
Show the Punchline
"Take your time. I'm all ears."
Why did the guided wave get confused at the elbow?
Show the Punchline
It was expecting a straight answer.
Why did the Magnetic Flux Leakage scanner find the pit so quickly?
Show the Punchline
It's strongly attracted to anything with a missing piece.
Why is shearography the most patient inspection method?
Show the Punchline
It makes the part sit under stress and watches how it handles pressure.
What did the tap hammer say to the honeycomb panel?
Show the Punchline
"You sound a little dull today."
Why did the thermographer cancel the scan of the shiny pipe?
Show the Punchline
All she could see was herself.
Why was the calibration block so calm during the audit?
Show the Punchline
Its certificate was current.
What do you call a probe cable with a bad connector?
Show the Punchline
A very expensive piece of rope.
What's the difference between a probe and a probe cable?
Show the Punchline
The probe is calibrated. The cable is just trusted.
Why wouldn't the instrument battery go up the scaffold?
Show the Punchline
It didn't have the energy.
How many spare batteries does a technician carry?
Show the Punchline
One more than the number she remembered to charge.
Where is the setting you need in the instrument menu?
Show the Punchline
One screen deeper than the one you're on.
Why did the couplant bottle look so tired at the end of the shift?
Show the Punchline
Everyone had been squeezing it for answers.
What's the heaviest piece of NDT equipment?
Show the Punchline
The case that was supposed to be light.
Why did the ultrasonic probe sign up for night classes?
Show the Punchline
It wanted to improve its resolution.
What's the difference between a discontinuity and a defect?
Show the Punchline
One acceptance criterion and a very awkward meeting.
Why did the welder blame the wind?
Show the Punchline
The shielding gas left, and the porosity stayed.
Why can't slag keep a secret?
Show the Punchline
It always shows up in the film.
What did the base metal say to the weld bead that never fused?
Show the Punchline
"You only ever stuck around on the surface."
Why was the crack so confident?
Show the Punchline
It knew it was going places.
Why was the lamination so quiet?
Show the Punchline
It had layers of things it wasn't saying.
What does corrosion do on its day off?
Show the Punchline
Nothing. It works around the clock.
Why did the undercut apologize to the base metal?
Show the Punchline
It had taken too much off the top.
Why did the crack file a complaint?
Show the Punchline
It felt it was being unfairly rejected.
Why did the Level I bring a ladder to the Level III's office?
Show the Punchline
She heard the next step was up.
What does a Level III say when you show him a rejectable indication?
Show the Punchline
'Interesting. Now show me the one you didn't circle.'
Why did the technician ace the eye exam and still miss the discontinuity?
Show the Punchline
The exam was at twelve inches. The weld was at the top of a scaffold.
How many Level IIIs does it take to change a light bulb?
Show the Punchline
None. They write the procedure, and a Level II changes it.
Why did the Level I look pale at the practical exam?
Show the Punchline
The test block had seven indications and the answer key had six.
What's the difference between a Level II and a Level III?
Show the Punchline
A Level II knows how. A Level III knows why, and also which edition.
Why did the Level III refuse to answer the multiple-choice question?
Show the Punchline
None of the choices said 'it depends.'
Why did the Level II study Snell's law the night before the exam?
Show the Punchline
She wanted to know which way the answers bend at the boundary between A and B.
Why did the technician photocopy her certification card nine times?
Show the Punchline
She has lost the original in every truck she has ever owned.
Why does every logbook have such tidy handwriting in December?
Show the Punchline
Everyone buys a fresh pen for the annual review.
How long is a Level III's quick question?
Show the Punchline
About forty-five minutes and a revision.
Why did the inspector put the code book on the scale?
Show the Punchline
Somebody said the new edition carried more weight.
What do you get when you cross a code book with a trampoline?
Show the Punchline
A lot of bouncing between clauses.
Why did the Level III refuse to sign the weld as acceptable?
Show the Punchline
The procedure said 'as required.' She wanted to know by whom.
How do you know a clause has been interpreted correctly?
Show the Punchline
You don't. You just know when people stop arguing.
Why did the specification and the code go to couples counseling?
Show the Punchline
They kept requiring different things of the same weld.
What does an inspector say when the spec contradicts the code?
Show the Punchline
'Please send that in writing, signed, and preferably before the shutdown.'
Why does the acceptance table have a footnote on every row?
Show the Punchline
It's the only way a code can say 'yes, but' in a grid.
Why did the addendum cross the road?
Show the Punchline
To amend the other side.
Why did the pipeline inspector keep her code book in a sealed bag?
Show the Punchline
It's the only thing in the truck that has to stay dry.
What's an engineer's favorite part of the code?
Show the Punchline
The part that says 'unless otherwise specified.'
Why did the welder bring a ruler to the inspection?
Show the Punchline
She wanted to measure up.
What did the weld say to the grinder?
Show the Punchline
'Be gentle. I've been through enough heat.'
Why did the welder get promoted to supervisor?
Show the Punchline
He had a solid record of keeping things together.
What's a welder's favorite dance step?
Show the Punchline
The weave.
What do welders do at the gym?
Show the Punchline
Bead curls.
Why did the weld bead look so lonely?
Show the Punchline
Lack of fusion. It never joined the base metal.
Why did the inspector reject the fillet weld?
Show the Punchline
It was too convex to be flat-out honest.
Why do welders make good friends?
Show the Punchline
They always stick with you.
What did the welder say when the inspector asked about the grinding?
Show the Punchline
'Which grinding?'
Why did the inspector's report take so long?
Show the Punchline
He kept finding indications in the paperwork.
What's the difference between an inspection and a report?
Show the Punchline
The inspection ends when you leave the site. The report ends when you leave the profession.
Why did the data file go missing after the inspection?
Show the Punchline
It was last seen in 'New Folder (3).'
Why did the inspector sign the report in blue ink?
Show the Punchline
She wanted something to be clearly original.
Why is a deadline like a calibration check?
Show the Punchline
Both are on the schedule, but only one is allowed to slip.
Why did the technician write the report in the truck?
Show the Punchline
His motel room had no desk, no light, and no hope.
Why did the technician pack a gallon of couplant for a two-hour job?
Show the Punchline
Because the job is never two hours, and the couplant is never enough.
What's the most expensive thing on a shutdown?
Show the Punchline
Waiting. It costs the same as working, and nothing gets done.
Why do inspectors always end up in the room next to the ice machine?
Show the Punchline
They don't ask for it. It's just the only room left.
How does an inspector stay warm on a January pipe rack?
Show the Punchline
She wears more layers than the pipe.
Why was the technician late to the safety meeting?
Show the Punchline
She couldn't find a seat. Everyone else showed up early.
What's an inspector's favorite kind of weather?
Show the Punchline
Indoor.
What do you call a scaffold without a tag?
Show the Punchline
Not a scaffold. A rumor.
What did the hi-rail truck say to the technician after fourteen hours?
Show the Punchline
I'm running on fumes too.
Why does every tool at the top of the stack have a lanyard?
Show the Punchline
Gravity doesn't care how well it's calibrated.
What's the only instrument in the truck that's always within tolerance?
Show the Punchline
The lunch cooler. It's always the same temperature as outside.
Why did the wind technician bring a spare checklist to the top of the tower?
Show the Punchline
The first one went to inspect the other turbines.
What's the difference between a pipeline job and a marathon?
Show the Punchline
A marathon has a finish line and a water station.
Why did the aircraft inspector refuse the coffee in the hangar?
Show the Punchline
It had foreign object debris in it.
What's wrong with the dry dock schedule?
Show the Punchline
The ship is out of the water, but the schedule is still in hot water.
Why did the rail inspector bring a ruler to the meeting?
Show the Punchline
To measure the gauge of the client's patience: 56.5 inches, standard.
What did the dosimeter say to the inspector at the end of the shift?
Show the Punchline
'I keep a record, and I'm not afraid to share it.'
What did the casting say to the inspector?
Show the Punchline
'Don't take my porosity personally. I was poured under pressure.'
Who arrives first, leaves last, and still gets blamed for the schedule?
Show the Punchline
The inspector, the only person on site whose job is to say 'not yet.'
What's the most dangerous question in NDT?
Show the Punchline
How long will it take? It has no right answer and several wrong ones.
What's the shortest sentence on any project?
Show the Punchline
'Let's meet.' It lasts ninety minutes.
What do clients and penetrant have in common?
Show the Punchline
Both want results before the dwell time is over.
What's the shortest distance between sales and the field?
Show the Punchline
A text message, and it always arrives at 8 p.m.
Why is the invoice always higher than the quote?
Show the Punchline
The quote doesn't include reality.
What's the difference between a client's complaint and a transducer?
Show the Punchline
The transducer eventually stops ringing.
Why did the project schedule fail its Ultrasonic Testing scan?
Show the Punchline
It showed a complete loss of back wall: no end in sight.
What does ASAP stand for during a shutdown?
Show the Punchline
Always Start After Permit.
What's a project manager's favorite part of the code book?
Show the Punchline
The thickness. It makes a great monitor stand.
Why did the inspector's report get a standing ovation?
Show the Punchline
It was the first one the client read all the way to the end.
Who has the hardest job in a pre-job meeting?
Show the Punchline
The person who has to say, 'I need to see the permit.'
Why are the office and the field like Snell's law?
Show the Punchline
The farther apart the two media, the more the message bends.
What do project managers hear when an inspector says 'relevant indication'?
Show the Punchline
'Repair, reinspect, and slide the schedule.'
What's a salesperson's favorite NDT method?
Show the Punchline
Acoustic Emission Testing. It only gets results under pressure.
What does a client hear when you say, 'We need more time'?
Show the Punchline
'We need more money.'
Why did the project manager add a margin to the schedule?
Show the Punchline
It was the only margin the client didn't cut.
How long is a refinery turnaround?
Show the Punchline
Exactly as long as the schedule says, plus the part nobody put on the schedule.
Why are heat exchanger tubes bad at keeping secrets?
Show the Punchline
Whatever is on one side eventually gets to the other.
What did the thickness gauge say to the outside of the pipe elbow?
Show the Punchline
You've been wearing thin lately.
What is a pressure vessel's least favorite day?
Show the Punchline
Hydrotest day. Everybody keeps asking if it can handle the pressure.
How long is a refueling outage?
Show the Punchline
Just long enough for every hour of it to have its own meeting.
Why do feedwater heater tubes never win arguments?
Show the Punchline
They always end up in hot water.
Why was the boiler tube so sensitive?
Show the Punchline
Years of heat on the fireside had worn it thin.
What happens to a steam generator tube with a relevant indication that is too large?
Show the Punchline
It gets plugged and retired with full honors.
How many outage inspectors does it take to change the plan?
Show the Punchline
None. The plan changes itself. The inspectors just write it down.
What is the most common thing found on a foreign object debris walk?
Show the Punchline
Whatever the inspector was just looking for.
What does an inspector get for finding a crack on the last day of a heavy check?
Show the Punchline
A thank-you and a new schedule.
How do you know an audit has started?
Show the Punchline
Every pen in the lab suddenly has a calibration sticker.
What did the wing skin say to the eddy current coil?
Show the Punchline
You're really getting under my skin.
How do you measure a pipeline inspector's career?
Show the Punchline
In miles of right-of-way and pounds of mud.
Why does a girth weld never get lost?
Show the Punchline
It always comes full circle.
What is an in-line inspection pig's favorite subject?
Show the Punchline
Pipe walls. It gets to see them from the inside.
Why do ship inspectors love dry dock?
Show the Punchline
It's the one day the hull shows everyone what it's been hiding.
Why is an ultrasonic thickness gauge a good shipmate?
Show the Punchline
It checks every plate on board and never complains about the food.
What is the biggest thing in a ship's void space?
Show the Punchline
The name.
What kind of music does a chain-drag inspector prefer on a bridge deck?
Show the Punchline
Anything that doesn't sound hollow.
Why is a fatigue crack the most dedicated employee on the bridge?
Show the Punchline
It shows up for every single load cycle and never takes a day off.
What is a bridge inspector's favorite lane closure?
Show the Punchline
The one where the cones are still there when she arrives.
Why did the high-strength bolt always win at tug-of-war?
Show the Punchline
It lives under tension.
Why does a delaminated bridge deck make a hollow sound?
Show the Punchline
It has layers of problems and nothing holding them together.
Why do blade root bolts make good friends?
Show the Punchline
They're always there for you when the load gets heavy, and they never loosen up.
What is the most unreliable part of any wind farm job?
Show the Punchline
The weather window, the only window that's always closed when you get there.
Why did the wind technician bring a copy of her certifications to the base of the tower?
Show the Punchline
She wanted proof she was qualified to go up in the world.
Why is Ultrasonic Testing so good at checking a blade's bond line?
Show the Punchline
It can tell when two things aren't really bonding.
Why was the casting so honest on the Radiographic Testing film?
Show the Punchline
It had nothing to hide and a lot to show.
What is a production manager's definition of a quick check?
Show the Punchline
Anything that takes less time than the meeting about it.
Why does the gage block always win the argument?
Show the Punchline
It's the only one in the room that never changes its size.
Why was the wheel inspector such a good judge of character?
Show the Punchline
She could always tell who was well-rounded and who had a flat spot.
What does a hi-rail inspector have in common with a train?
Show the Punchline
They both run on a schedule somebody else wrote and nobody follows.
What is a rail inspector's favorite kind of rail flaw?
Show the Punchline
The one found before the next train does.
Why does every inspector's New Year's resolution start with 'find my certification card'?
Show the Punchline
It lives in a different truck every January.
What's the first thing a Level III checks in the new edition?
Show the Punchline
What they moved, so they can tell you your old answer is wrong.
What do you get when you cross a New Year's resolution with a calibration due date?
Show the Punchline
A promise to do it early, kept in month eleven.
Why does a battery read full at breakfast and empty by ten in the cold?
Show the Punchline
It's an optimist until the first scan.
How much daylight does a winter inspection crew get?
Show the Punchline
Enough to find the weld, not enough to finish it.
Why did the couplant sit out the winter job?
Show the Punchline
It couldn't go with the flow.
Why did the high-temperature transducer get promoted?
Show the Punchline
It stays calm when the surface is 350 degrees.
What's the best-attended item on a July job schedule?
Show the Punchline
Hydration break. Perfect attendance.
Why did the penetrant fail on the hot plate?
Show the Punchline
It dried up before it finished its dwell time.
Why did the inspector grab a free pen at every booth on Tuesday?
Show the Punchline
By Thursday, every pen from Tuesday was dead.
What is the first rule of trade show swag?
Show the Punchline
If it's free, it comes in a free bag, and you will carry both.
Why did the demo work perfectly?
Show the Punchline
It was scanning the one test block the vendor had been practicing on since March.
Why was the Level III the calmest person on audit day?
Show the Punchline
She had read every page twice and annotated the second time.
What is an auditor's favorite question?
Show the Punchline
'Can you show me?' It works on every procedure and every Level II.
Why did the calibration certificate arrive at the audit nervous?
Show the Punchline
It had an expiration date, and the auditor had a calendar.
Why did the inspector love the opened vessel?
Show the Punchline
Finally, a job with a good view of the inside story.
What is the most important tool at a turnaround?
Show the Punchline
The permit. Nothing happens without it, and it's never where you left it.
Why did the pulled tube bundle get so much attention?
Show the Punchline
It had hundreds of tubes, and every one of them had something to say.
What is an outage with no delays?
Show the Punchline
A rumor.
How many hours are in an outage day?
Show the Punchline
Twenty-four, and the schedule has twenty-six planned.
Why do outage workers read the radiation work permit so carefully?
Show the Punchline
It's the one document that tells you where to be, how long to stay, and when to leave.
Why did the inspector tap every gift under the tree?
Show the Punchline
He wanted to hear whether anything was disbonded.
What is a December schedule?
Show the Punchline
A document that says everything finishes before the 23rd, and nobody believes it.
Why did the crew love the snow day?
Show the Punchline
It was the only unplanned work stoppage that came with hot chocolate.
Why did the inspector bring a coin to the composite panel?
Show the Punchline
She wanted to hear the panel's side of the story. A tap tells you its tone.
What is the heaviest part of a heavy check?
Show the Punchline
The task cards. The aircraft gets lighter with every panel removed, and the paperwork only gets heavier.
Why did the ship inspector bring a ladder into the empty dry dock?
Show the Punchline
She had a lot of ground to cover, and most of it was straight up.
What does a hull plate say after a thickness survey?
Show the Punchline
'Don't read too much into it.'
Why does the pipeline crew treat the radiographer like the weather?
Show the Punchline
Everyone depends on her forecast, and nobody likes waiting for it.
What's the longest thing on a pipeline job?
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Not the pipe. The drive between welds.
Why do bridge inspectors never get lonely?
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Even under the deck, there's always traffic overhead.
Why did the bridge inspector bring a small hammer to the bolted connection?
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She wanted to sound out every bolt.
Why did the inspector bring a book to the weather window?
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The window was open for ten minutes, and the wait for it took two days.
What did the blade say to the rope access inspector?
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'Don't get too close. I'm a little rough around the edges.'
Why did the rail inspector refuse to take a shortcut?
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The only thing shorter than the shortcut was the track time window.
What do hi-rail trucks and rail inspectors have in common?
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Two sets of wheels, and a nervous relationship with the schedule.
What's the fastest thing on the production line in December?
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The rumor that the holiday shutdown might start early.
Why is the inspection bench the busiest place on the dock in December?
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Every part wants to be on the accepted list before the shutdown.